The Sex Catch, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Noggin

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys use love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs analyze excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these singles, having sex carries immense meaning and repercussions.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will ready also).

B.more typically, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), that makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are brought in to incredibly tough to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and uncontrolled , leading to powerful click for more info sensations of destination, enjoyment, love, closeness, and well-being .

When problems develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is terrific!" They most likely would not confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, says that a number of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys especially in metropolitan locations, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be excellent?".

Nevertheless, North includes, "I suspect this is a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to mention that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a provided that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though often it can grow with time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with common sense. While great sex is crucial for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, objectives, worths, and requirements -- while feeling all those look at this now amazing sparks!

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