The Sex Catch, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles translate good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these songs, having sex brings immense significance and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will be good also).

B.more commonly, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they have sex.
So, instead of looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels aside from physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are drawn in to exceptionally difficult to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the go to this site hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical i thought about this reactions are strong and involuntary , causing powerful sensations of attraction, enjoyment, nearness, well-being, and love .

However when problems arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by believing, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is terrific!" They most likely wouldn't confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, says that much of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in urban locations, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical appearance, motivates sexual activity. If a potential partner is going to be sexually suitable, lots of gay men desire to find out from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".

Nevertheless, North includes, "I suspect this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to explain that chemistry is important. Chemistry is a given that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means combining chemistry with sound judgment. While excellent sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, objectives, and values -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

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